Finding Faith: Starting From Scratch
by HawaiianCaffeine
Summary: Their friendship started at a church. Despite this, relationships often bring out heartache. Sometimes they lose faith. It happens... but the idea is to never give up and to keep trying. Hey, everyone needs help every once and a while. GaaSaku. REMADE.


**Finding Faith**_  
><em>

_"Hell is the only place outside of heaven where we can be safe from the dangers of love." _

_-The Four Loves by C. S. Lewis_

* * *

><p>Gaara couldn't believe, of all people, <em>he<em> would be in anything that might resemble a church. Of all the places to be, of all the places to go, _crazy_ that he'd end up here. He had no right to be here. Crazy was his middle name, though.

He took in the picturesque view in front of him. Long dark oak pews were evenly placed on either side of the middle isle. A large and beautiful cross hung prominently in the center on the front wall. The ornate table in front of the cross boldly stated _"In Remembrance of Me"_ with a tattered and used Bible placed upon it, showing the Word's importance. Gaara scanned over the high ceiling that while not intricate, was still immaculate and beautiful. The sidewalls had large yellow stained glass windows that seemed to blaze to life when sunlight was filtered through. At the moment, however, the light was fading and sunset was taking place.

The idiocy of his actions seemed to grow more ridiculous as he continued to think about it. This just wasn't… right. Gaara ran his fingers along the smooth wooden pew arm rests. He made his way toward the front of the church, curious about everything this place held and what all of the symbols meant. Warily, blue-green eyes analyzed the Book, already flipped open to a nondescript page, in front of him. Seeming to disappear due to his quick movements, he reappeared behind the table, studiously glaring at what gave others such solace, but nothing to his pain.

Gaara reached toward the thin pages wondering if what he always searched for lay not an inch from his fingers. A sight caught his attention and he looked down to frown at the mud on his boots. The red-head's gaze trailed all the way toward the exit of the church. The previously crimson and pristine carpet had been ruined by his exploratory efforts, black footprints making their damning mark. A bang was heard, and he whipped his head up to see several doves scattering and flying an open window of the church.

Gaara took a second to slide his eyes close before opening them again and strode out of the sanctuary. He knew who he was and what terrible actions he had committed up to this point, no denial to block is insanity or evil. He didn't belong here.

As Gaara stood in the doorway, his expression crumpled. He started to turn back, but thought better of it. Straightening his posture, he started to walk out finally.

"Wait—where are you going?"

He barely paused for a second before continuing to walk through the towering doors out into the open air. The wind started up as he stepped out onto the concrete. It was time to be on his way to his current quarters before packing up to leave for Sand again.

"Wah—wait!"

The air moved and he could tell the one calling him was a ninja by their speed. The sand that always protected him shot up at the first sense of a hand reaching for his shoulder. He turned around to see the pursuers face.

"…"

* * *

><p>Sakura strolled toward the church, enjoying its tall white-washed walls. She craned her neck up, squinting through the sunset to gaze at the loftily placed cross topping the building. Grinning at its simplistic beauty, Sakura lowered her gaze and skipped into the sanctuary, taking a side door that was always left open throughout the week. It had been weeks since she had seen this place due to her demanding job and a tough mission in another village. It felt great to be back, however.<p>

Lightly taking in her surroundings of the place, Sakura smiled at the sight of the open Bible only a few feet from her which was still left on the table for all to see and read, if anyone was of the mind. Someone could easily steal it… but there would be no need. If asked, the church minister would probably hand it over freely. Wasn't that the purpose? In fact, the minister would probably be _glad_ if someone wanted it so badly. Sharp nails listlessly grazed the sleek pews as she approached the table. Her mind easily slipped from one object to another, followed by another. She sighed thoughtfully.

While her life was always so chaotic, it was always so peaceful in here—hah, well, sometimes it was peaceful. Sakura's thoughts went to a flashback of excited children in the church who had been practically losing their minds at the thought of going on a field trip. Of course, _she_ had _volunteered_ (tricked) to help watch them. Sakura shuddered at her naïveté. Those children were anything but peaceful, but—_a grin touched her face_—doing it was still sweet, loving, and beautiful… in its own way of course (in a killer, backbreaking, sleep killing, life sucking, but still fun way…).

Coming back to the real world, she turned around just to step back surprised. What were these boot prints? Curious green eyes followed the trail all the way toward main entrance and exit of the building. With the doors wide open, a figure was framed in the sunset, creating a mightily pretty picture. The figure turned slightly, barely glancing back at the sanctuary he had just left. Red hair eclipsed and suddenly Sakura knew _exactly_ who that was.

_Gaara_? Kazekage of _Suna_? Sakura did a double take. Impossible…

She stopped to study him for a second. It was strange she found him here, but he looked so… Sakura saw him straighten and quickly make his way out.

Reaching out her hand lightly, she said, "Wait—where are you going?"

He seemed to have heard her, but did not hardly stop, instead choosing to ignored her and continued out of the church and into the open.

_Wait_—_he shouldn't go_—_what was wrong_?

Sakura set her foot down and let her hard-earned ability carry her after Gaara. When she nearly appeared behind him, she skidded to a stop to keep from banging into him.

"Wah—wait!"

Sakura reached out her arm again to touch his shoulder to get him stop, when his sand blocked her efforts. He turned around and looked at her. She tried not to shrink under his gaze as she gave him a nervous smile.

"Is there anything you require?"

Sakura looked taken aback. Truthfully, she hadn't really thought it out that much.

"Uh—er—I just thought that—"

Gaara continued his staring.

Sakura fidgeted, "Well—"

"I won't do it again. Sorry." Gaara said abruptly as he briskly turned around and started to take a step away.

"Huh?" Sakura crossed her arms uncertainly, "_What_ won't you do again?" Talking to Suna's leader (and a man who could probably snap her like a twig) was a bit disconcerting. It wasn't like she'd had much practice at it exactly.

Gaara stopped as he turned back to her, now a couple more steps away from her. His lips seemed to crush together tersely, "The sanctuary. I am sorry for intruding. Excuse me."

He looked like he was about to turn away again when Sakura stopped him—_again_.

"Why would you be sorry about that?" Sakura blanched. He glared at her and she hid her eyes downward, "Well—no—see—that's fine for you being there—in fact—well," she huffed at her shyness. Talking to people had never been an issue for her before! Grow a backbone girl! Raising her eyes, she asked sincerely, "I kind of was wondering if you'd stay. Yes?" Sakura half smiled as she tried ask what her mind wasn't organizing well enough to say easily.

His sea-green eyes looked at her. It was that staring again. Sakura sighed.

"It's just that—it's just that, you don't seem to come often" and she hadn't seen anyone, especially her own teammates in months, "—and—I thought that it'd be nice to have… to have you there for a bit? Please?" _With sugar on top?_ she added mentally.

Her questions sounded unsure. Gaara almost likened her to a little kid telling their parent what they wanted to do while asking if it was okay to do it.

"Why?"

Sakura looked down at her feet. Well… she was afraid that he might not come back when this could be a really good thing—for both of them. She was lonely and he was… why was he here anyway? Whatever the reason, showing up at a church had to be a good sign of his recovery and reformation that she had heard about. He was still unknown, and still partially terrifying, but he and Naruto were best friends… and that counted for something, right?

…But what should she say?

"How about staying for some mutual company?" Sakura faltered when his non-existent eyebrow rose incredulously. "Ahh, I mean—I'm sure you have better things to do… but I figure since Naruto's out on a mission and I have no where else to go right now and maybe you don't know many people and anything's better than being alone and well—maybe—" Sakura stopped her rambling when she realized she was only making things worse. Raising the palms of her hands in surrender, she sighed.

"I only want to talk to someone, Kazekage-sama." Her expression morphed from nervousness into complete sincerity, hoping to get the point across despite her words.

Gaara studied her closely to make sure this wasn't a joke. He took a second to look behind him, thinking about his temporary quarters, then back at Sakura—weighing his options.

Sakura watched him curiously and cautiously as a wind blew passed again during his decision making moment.

He probably should just forget her and go "home"—but Naruto had been bugging him about "socializing" and "getting out more," or something like that. The blonde didn't seem to like Gaara being left alone at any time—he didn't seem to think it was healthy. Not to mention this girl was another of his other best friends, who'd known him much longer than Gaara himself did. A flash of pink hair and green eyes, her arms stretched out to protect her teammate showed up abruptly in his mind's eye. She was the same girl who would willingly die for those same teammates.

Gaara looked directly down at her in the eyes and nodded curtly, "If that is what you wish."

Sakura felt herself start to breathe again as she gave a wide smile, "Great! Do—do want to come back in now?" Despite being autumn, there was a winter chill and Sakura was hoping to quickly make her way back inside where the warmth awaited her.

Gaara would have tried to give her a smile to reassure her, but it would have been thin and probably very unpleasant and definitely not reassuring. So he didn't. A nod and a brisk walk along side her would have to do as they made their way back into the church.

Sakura tried not to stumble under the awkward inside of the sanctuary and toward the front where the cross and the table stood.

As soon as they reached the front of the pews, Gaara stopped with a military acuteness and stood there as still as a statue. Sakura felt uncomfortable as she tried to figure the best course of action. Continue standing, or sit down? Errr…

Sakura sat down, perched at the edge of the pew uncomfortably, looking at Gaara. The tension could be cut with a butter knife…

Gaara moved his head down to gaze at her as she looked down at her feet.

A few minutes passed…

Gaara crossed his arms, clearly not impressed, "Now what do we do?"

Lost in her thoughts, Sakura glanced up in surprise. "Huh? Oh—well—we could talk? I mean—if you'd rather not, that's fine—but—"

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Uh, well…"

The philosophical meaning of life? Naw, a little over the top…

"How was your day? I mean, what'd you do today?"

Blink.

"Um, I went grocery shopping? And you?"

"…"

"Uh…"

"I went for a walk."

Sakura looked surprised again. _Well, it's a start…_

"Yeah? Me too, it was really peaceful and—"

"I killed someone," Gaara stated bluntly.

_Okay? Sure they were ninja so that wasn't out of the ordinary, but when trying to make small talk… _Sakura grimaced. What was up with all the socially inept men walking around in her life?

Realizing his mistake, Gaara closed his eyes for a second before opening them again and continuing, "I was attacked. He was an AWOL nin that betrayed Suna to work as a hit man against me."

_Well, that explained it better, at the very least._ Sakura nodded her encouragement.

"Does that happen often then? Assassination attempts?" Sakura was not to be deterred; she was determined to save this conversation that was slowly being torn to shreds.

A ridiculous question, but he answered it anyway, "Yes."

_Sigh_, good Lord—not giving much up for conversation is he? _Oh, well…_

"Even before I became Kazekage of Suna," Gaara glared at her, waiting for her to make some excuse and leave him. He had never meant to go this far by starting to lead her to learning about him. Naruto, however, was adamant that friends were the crucial requirement toward his rehabilitation. Though it disgruntled him, the blue eyes of his "conscience" (if he could even own one) watched him with approval in his mind.

Sakura studied him curiously again as he seemed to look away in a thoughtful absentminded-ness.

"Assassination attempts because of your past? Because of the demon inside?" Though she said it with sincerity, he flinched. Of course she knew he had a demon inside, but years of accusation and shame followed that statement for too long for him not to expect her to run. Would she? She also knew that Naruto had a demon locked inside, just like he did, yet she was still practically knit together with the blonde.

Gaara was tense, but when she didn't make a motion to move, he relaxed. As if just remembering she was there and waiting patiently, he looked back and answered, "Yes."

He studied the church again silently as she watched him.

Hot with outrage, but not at him, she ranted, "Why would they put such a thing inside of you willingly, if they would just kill you later for it? Naruto was forced into the situation by circumstance—but there was no reason for you to have been—"

Gaara waved her into silence, "They miscalculated. They thought that they could handle it—handle me. They tried and failed."

Sakura looked down back at her feet, feeling bad she had brought up what was probably a painful subject, "Oh. So your entire life…?"

Gaara nodded.

Sakura looked toward the church doors and then back at him. A thought occurred to her, "But Naruto—he _was_ able to help you. Why..?"

"Naruto was a special circumstance and situation. He—"

There was a slight crack in his voice. He crossed his arms and grunted to even out his voice. "He showed me a different way. One with acceptance."

Pink hair bobbed in agreement, "He has that effect on people." She smiled, "I'm glad that it was you. That he was able to help."

Gaara nodded.

Sakura sighed.

_Well, if anything, there's less tension._

Gaara glanced at the darkened stained glass windows, "It is getting dark."

Sakura's brow went up slightly as she took a look at the windows herself. "I should be going." Gaara stated, taking his gaze back to her.

Nodding understandingly, Sakura stood up, "Alright. Well—" she dusted herself off and stretched out her aching muscles, "I guess we'll go then."

Unfolding his arms, Gaara nodded. The couple simultaneously turned toward the open doors, now black with night heavily fallen.

Looking up toward the right at his face, she said in a hushed voice, "Another time, again? …Hopefully?"

Gaara glanced down and nodded, "That would be… fine."

Looking back at the doors, he started his walk toward the doors. He paused before grasping the knob.

Clearing his throat he said, still facing away from her, "Thank you, Sakura-san."

And then he was gone.

Sakura grinned widely. _There might be hope for him, yet._

It wasn't until a month later that the two ended up in the same situation as this one… but with a slightly altered beginning.

* * *

><p><em>A Month Later<em>

The sky darkened as Sakura made her way home after a debriefing, having finished her toughest mission yet. She was exhausted. In fact, she was ready for a several days of non-stop rest. Stress was as sure as a killer as a kunai to the throat. Taking a breath, Sakura leaned against a dingy brink building. Home was still a few blocks away, but she knew she could make it. Dead or alive, she'd get there somehow. Laughing at her lackluster joke, Sakura dug deep for the strength and forced her weight back on to her own two feet.

Feeling a bit light-headed for exhaustion, Sakura continued doggedly toward her flat. She could make it. Dear Lord Jesus she needed rest… too bad right when she wished to use her teleportation jutsu the most, it was the most unavailable.

Dragging one foot in front of the other, Sakura glanced up. She almost laughed in happiness—she was almost home! Only one more block to go and she was home free! Dragging one more foot in front of the other, Sakura found herself falling forward. Apparently rocks were more than willing to interrupt and totally ruin her minor victory.

Sakura sighed with her face staring down at the night-bathed street. Huffing, she flipped over and turned toward her arch-nemesis, The Rock…At least she thought she tripped on a rock until she found that it was much bigger and much more… human… shaped…?

Sakura gasped, "_Gaara_?" She pulled her shirt into sorts and straightened her skirt while crawling back toward him. The Kazekage was sitting down against a building, knees pulled toward his chest, with his hands clutched through his crimson hair. His eyes were closed and expression pained. It was apparent he was having a break down. Horrified at his tattered and bloodied mental and physical state, Sakura leaned toward his face, shakily reaching her hand toward his face. She didn't want to shock him, but the action was too tempting to get his attention.

Without another uncertain thought, Sakura touched the hair in his face, soothingly pushing his hair back. His eyes snapped open to gaze at her, his expression still contorted in pain.

As quietly and gently as possible, Sakura spoke, "What's wrong Kazekage-sama? What happened?" She had forgotten how young he was. Gaara was just as old as she was—only fifteen. To be head of a village at such a young age, after having gone through what he had…

Gaara responded to her words with his expression in even more pain. Just as she was about to apologize for whatever hurt him, his low and gruff voice corrected, "Gaara." He didn't have many friends, but she was one of them now. She _had_ to be. He focused on her sincere green eyes surrounded by that ridiculously pink hair that had fallen in her face. Friends told each other their secrets and pain, however. _He was in pain._ But if he did, would she run? Would she refuse to be his friend? He didn't have enough to lose one now.

Unknowing of his thoughts, Sakura watched him tenderly has he remained in his hurting state. Oh, Gaara. What has happened to you? Sighing slightly with a curl of a smile she replied, "Okay. Gaara-san, can you explain what happened…?"

Gaara didn't respond as his body lightly started to shake. It was barely noticeable, but since Sakura was so close, she caught it. Sighing once more, Sakura moved to sit beside him on the left, as close as possible. She copied Gaara's position by drawing her legs up in front of her with her arms.

Sakura whispered into the night, "Talk to me, Gaara. It's alright now…"

He seemed to shake his head as he shrunk against the wall.

_Well, if he wouldn't talk…_

Sakura sidled up closer to him and leaned against him. She pushed back her automatic reaction of fear towards him. This man needed her, whether he liked it or not.

"I'm sorry, Gaara-san."

And they stayed like that for a while.

* * *

><p>Sakura seemed to find herself waking up in the freezing cold outside. She didn't remember falling asleep when… Sakura's gaze snapped open to realize she had fallen asleep on <em>The<em> Kazekage of Suna. Woops. At least it was still dark outside. She had probably only been asleep for a couple hours at most. Most likely it was about two in the morning. Sakura straightened up her posture and worked the crick out of her neck. In the midst of turning her head in a non-human fashion, she found that she wasn't the only one awake.

Sea-green eyes openly stared at her, his face only inches from hers. A blush started to spread from her ears to her face, to the rest of her body. Faking a cough, Sakura turned and scooted an inch away from him "indiscreetly." She glanced back up to see his expression. He was still staring. Faking another cough, Sakura said, "I'm—ah, sorry for the inconvenience."

He continued to stare. Disgruntled at his lack of a reaction, Sakura felt her anger flare up. She was sick of all her meekness around him. It wasn't healthy or natural. She'd fallen asleep with Naruto and her other teammate innumerable times. Huffing, Sakura placed a hand on her hip and said, "Well, you can't blame me. I was exhausted! What did you expect—for me to be readily available at every hour of the night to come to your rescue?"

His non-eyebrow rose skeptically, which made Sakura huff again. "Yes, I said _rescue_. It's what friends are for, anyhow." Despite her pretend ire, inside she was actually glowing with happiness. He, at least, wasn't in pain like before.

She glanced over to see his reaction when words weren't forthcoming. His (almost) comical expression loosened into a solemn expression that made Sakura slightly uncomfortable. Though she said it offhandedly, she understood that friendship would probably be a sensitive subject for him. It was slightly disconcerting to make friends with someone who took it so seriously. Beginning a friendship with Gaara wouldn't be like beginning a friendship with anybody else. The only person who might place the same importance would be Naruto himself. And everyone knew how seriously Naruto took friendships or any relationship for that matter.

Sakura looked away and started stretching her arms and legs out to ease the tension in the air. "Well, it's pretty late… or early. Let's get you fixed up."

His questioning gaze was cut off abruptly when he was pulled to his feet and dragged along the street towards her apartment.

In his confusion of being hauled off somewhere, he said, "Where are we going Haruno-san?"

Surprised green eyes darted to look back at him. She was surprised he even knew her name, nevertheless used it. Now that she thought about, he had _never_ used it up till now. It sounded strange coming from him. Smiling wryly, she replied, "If I can call you Gaara, then you can call me Sakura. Now _come_ _on_. This is my job after all."

Gaara blinked, considering this new turn of events. _She was helping him._ Gaara looked down to look at their clasped hands when she smiled and tugged at him. He looked back up to her endearing gaze.

"Okay."

* * *

><p>Despite getting a couple hours rest, Sakura was still drained and ready to pass out on the nearest cushion, bed, couch… or any soft part on her floor would be fine, really. Unfortunately, she still had a job to do. Why is it she always made friends with guys who needed constant medical attention? Maybe choosing to be a medic wasn't her best decision… there was always work to do, on or off the job. <em>The number of times Naruto has needed healing and skipped the hospital and showed up at the door, any time of the day or night… sigh.<em>

Sakura released a protection jutsu, unlocked her apartment door, and led her silent friend through her hallways. First, clean the blood off and cleanse any wounds of infection. Then… well, she'll figure that out when she got to it.

"The bathroom is just around this corner at the end of this hall. I don't have a big space, but it's enough for me and is as cheap as Naruto is with lunch. Shishou didn't see fit to grace me with luxury... something about building character…" Sakura smiled with affection, if a bit humorlessly.

"The towels are in the cabinet and spare soap in the drawer. If you need anything, I'll be in the kitchen—" An idea popped into her head, "I'll see if I can find you an extra change of clothes—it can't be healthy to wear that dirtied and bloodied outfit…" Just the thought of the all possible germs and diseases that could be caught and _manifested right now_ made Sakura cringe. "… Naruto always leaves his junk here, so I'm sure I could find something."

Sakura smiled as Gaara stared at her intently, soaking up all of the information. If Naruto wanted Gaara to fit in with a crowd, there was still a lot of work to do…

Pretend coughing, Sakura continued, "You've both had such amazing growth spurts in just a couple years… months even. I remember when I was taller than you…" Sakura paused. Once again the dreaded "non-eyebrow" rose incredulously at the accidental slight. Sakura coughed again.

"Anyway, I'll leave the clothes outside the door. It'll give me time to get my supplied together in case you have any serious…"

"I don't."

Sakura gave him a questioning look.

Gaara looked away awkwardly, "I don't have any serious injuries. Most of the blood is not mine."

Sakura cringed at her assumption. She didn't _mean_ to rub salt in the wound. Why was she always saying the worst words possible? _It's just not fair._ She really was _trying_ her best.

Though he usually never cared one way or another about other people's… feelings… making her be ashamed certainly wasn't his goal.

Gaara cleared his throat, "I—"

Sakura stopped him, realizing his intent. "It's okay, Gaara-san."

He shook his head as he turned to her, "No, it is not "okay." But—" his voice cracked, unused to soothing others (especially a _girl_) "But, I thank you."

Green eyes crinkled as her face cracked into a grin. "No problem, Gaara-san. It's the least I could do." Despite her gracious words, his expression fell into seriousness again. His brow furrowed as he held a lock of her hair, "It's the most anyone has done for me." After a significant look, he turned and walked toward the bathroom.

Sakura blushed from head to toe. Any relationship with him was just too intense.

* * *

><p>Despite his words, Sakura still got her medical supplies ready. Her definition of a "serious injury" was probably different than his definition. Most patients were that way. Sakura sighed as she put on a pot of tea. With the way things were going, she might need a warm drink to relax her. She had already found a tattered jumper that Naruto had left behind a few months back before he had left on his long "mission" (cover to look for Sasuke anyway). A giggle bubbled up, Gaara in Naruto's orange jumper would probably be the funniest thing since… actually, he should be out by now.<p>

Sakura turned around, about to inquire about his health when he turned the corner into the kitchen. _Oh, my._

Her eyes popped open and she raised her hand to hide her laughter… to little avail. "You look very…"

His glare silenced any fancy words she could make up on the fly. "I look like an orange caution sign threw up on me." Actually, it look like _Naruto_ threw up on him, but he was still trying to retain some dignity.

Unable to contain it any longer, Sakura broke out in peals of laughter. "At least—hahahaha—at least—ahahaha—it fits!" His intensified glare was enough of an answer to send her into another fit of laughter.

He crossed his arms in response. Once her mirth died down, she poured them both a cup of tea.

"I do not find this… situation… humorous."

Sakura bit her lip in amusement, forcing back another round of laughter. "_Cough_—Of course not." Changing the subject, she handed him his cup of tea, "I don't know if you even like tea, but this has some medicinal herbs. It won't taste pleasant, but it will help with muscle relaxation—headaches, arm or leg aches and the like. I don't have a lot of chakra left, even after that nap, so better stick with the simple things."

Gaara nodded, though he was still frowning at his clothing as if _that_ were the cause of all his problems. He heard her sigh from across the room, set the cup down on the counter and say, "Alright, Gaara-san. Let's have a look…"

Sakura came armed with antiseptics and a determined frown. "No, you're not getting out of this, don't even pretend to "suddenly feel better." If I can handle Kakashi's nonsense, you don't even stand a chance."

Gaara obediently stayed in place while she looked him over. He frowned at how hands-on medics had to be to check his health, but didn't protest as she patted him down.

"Do you hurt anywhere? Is the medication in the tea working? Does it hurt when I do _this_—" Gaara flinched. Sakura glared at the back of his head. She thought so. _All of the blood is someone else's her _butt_. _

Gaara turned back slightly, knowing her thoughts. "It's only bruising. I am _fine_."

Sakura _harrumphed_ and set the antiseptics down a little bit harder than necessary. "Well, maybe. But I'm going to do a chakra scan to be sure you are injured on the inside somewhere. Maybe even ease some of the pain of the bruising." Sakura turned him to face her and raised her hands toward either side of his temples. When he shied away, Sakura glared at him, "Sh! Don't argue with me young man!"

He raised his brow. Sakura rolled her eyes, "Yes, I know we're the same ages. Now cooperate!" Emerald green glared into blue-green eyes which glared back. Eventually he caved and shrugged, sliding his eyes closed. Sakura grinned in victory. "Good."

Just a few short minutes later, he _was_ feeling better. The ache in his back and in his stomach eased. When he felt her hands slide away, his eyes snapped open. Nervous about what to say, he started, "Thank… you. I am sorry if…" He stopped when he realized she wasn't in front of him anymore. His eyes lowered to find her passed out on the floor. _He knew she was overworked but…_

His brow creased in concern.

* * *

><p>Pink hair disappeared under the covers to hide as a breeze blew through her apartment. In the midst of burrowing further into the cocooned warmth, it suddenly hit her. Oh, come on…<p>

Groaning, Sakura peaked over the blankets. Somehow, this situation was slightly reminiscent of another day, several years back… well, not so much. At least Gaara hadn't knocked her out, she'd accomplished that all on her own. At least she was on a comfy couch with a blanket, not out in the open in the cold on a bench. _He had left without a word, however_… Sakura paused as she eyed a post-it on her blanket. Inching her body to sit up, she grabbed the tiny yellow sheet.

_Had to return to Suna. _

_Be cautious of how much _

_chakra you have reserved next time._

_Thank you._

_-Gaara_

Sakura smiled. Definitely not like last time. She squealed like the teenager she was and slapped the note over her eyes. He said _next time_! She was a little too giddy over the idea somehow.

* * *

><p>"You know—we had an agreement a few months back about meeting at the sanctuary again. Would you like to take me up on that offer?" Sitting at Ichiraku, Gaara barely blinked at Sakura's appearance. He had only been in the village a couple days, but he wasn't surprised. Since Naruto had been gone on his long hiatus in search of his old teammate, there weren't many people in line to talk with him. He was used to it, and actually enjoyed his loner life, but Naruto didn't seem to understand it, or even want to understand it. In fact, Sakura was starting to be about as stubborn as Naruto.<p>

"I don't—"

Sakura gazed up at him with big eyes.

"Please?"

Gaara sighed. Oh, the burdens of friendship. Not that he had many.

"Since you are so persistent…"

Sakura smiled widely. "Let's get going then!" Gaara barely got the money on the counter before Sakura started to drag him away.

Much less awkward than last time, Sakura was glad when she saw the white-washed building appear in the distance and grow closer with each step. She had such heart-felt memories here. When she glanced at Gaara, she frowned at another thought. Maybe his experiences weren't as enjoyable. How… unfortunate.

When Gaara turned toward her look, Sakura plastered on a smile. Well, she would just have to give him some new ones that were better!

As they stepped through the doors, Sakura let out and in a pleasant sigh. It always felt so good walking in—the aura—the air. She just _felt_ it, like she was starting new every time. Sakura threw her arms out joyfully. "Isn't it _such_ a beautiful day?"

Gaara nodded. The sun was shining bright and its light filtered through the stained-glass windows in a becoming shade of gold which bathed all of the room, including Sakura.

Grateful for the lack of tension as there was last time, Sakura quickly moved toward the front of the church. Much like last time, she sat at the edge of the pew, near the table with the Bible placed upon it. Gaara moved to stand where he stood last time they were here, once again refusing to sit down.

In a sort of role reversal, Sakura looked up and asked, "So. How have you been?"

Gaara decided to slide into the pew on the opposite side of Sakura as he steadily kept his gaze in front.

"You believe in… God, yes?"

Sakura sat back in surprise. Despite this turn of events, she smiled and relaxed into the pew.

She nodded and replied, "Yes. I believe I do."

Gaara seemed to study his hands for a minute before looking up at the large cross that stood as the large centerpiece of the room.

"If there were… a God… and you believe He's all good, yes? Then why would… why would He allow… bad things happen?" Gaara now looked up and turned to Sakura at this.

Sakura looked troubled and frowned at Gaara. She turned toward the front of the church for a distraction. She had seen _a lot_ in her years as a ninja… but Gaara had probably seen much, _much_ more. "Well—if you believe what I believe, then it wasn't God's plan." Sakura silently contemplated for a moment. He may not have wanted her pity, but she felt bad all the same. Quietly she added, "He didn't want it and didn't chose this for us. We chose it. He is only trying to fix it… to save us."

Gaara stared intently at her in silence long enough to catch her attention. She got the message that he wanted her to continue.

Sighing at the seriousness of the conversation, Sakura tried to sort out her thoughts. Don't get her wrong, she loved explaining her beliefs, but that didn't make it always easy. If people weren't outright hostel, there was at least a giant wall thrown up between them. She would hate to lose his friendship all over one conversation. But then, it wasn't much of a friendship if they couldn't share a part of her life she considered her only reason for waking up in the morning.

Wishing there was a manual to conversations like these, Sakura started, "Well—In the Beginning… it wasn't like this. Everything was actually perfect. If God is Almighty and all Good, then why wouldn't he make everything good and perfect—without any sadness or death. By His very nature, and us being created, there is a choice, however. God is omniscient where we are not. And in the very idea of there being a God and a _me_, I have the choice to _choose_ God or me. God made only one rule then… and we were tempted by evil and decided to break that one rule. Our first and most condemning sin. We basically said we knew better, we _are_ better than God."

Gaara soaked up the information and Sakura smiled humorlessly. "You can see the problem. We chose to serve ourselves. We decided that God who created us shouldn't be the center of our world anymore… umm," Sakura looked up and thought for a second and asked, "Tell me what you know about air."

His brow rose at the question. Gaara could say a lot of scientific information, but somehow he understood that's not where she was leading. He shrugged, "We need it to live." It was the most basic answer for anyone on earth.

The corner of Sakura's mouth pulled up in a smile.

"Refusing to obey God is like refusing to breathe air one day. We need it to live. Sure, we _could_ refuse to breathe one day, but then we would die." Sakura shrugged. "Then we did. And death is the consequence, no matter how gracious our God is, He is still perfect and Just. What would you have Him do? …Be _imperfect_?" Sakura snorted at that ridiculous idea.

As Gaara continued to watch her silently, Sakura decided to get a bit more comfortable and turned sideways to lie down on the pew, completely stretched out. She put her arms behind her head to soften the wood beneath her.

"Human selfishness and human self-sacrificing is a universal concept that every individual has to deal with. You could say that there is no God, but then you are saying there is no standard for good and evil. That there _is no_ good or evil. And we both don't believe _that_. Though most people look down upon it, it makes the most sense."

As Gaara watched her get comfortable, he decided to match her position by swinging his legs up on the pew bench. Unlike her, however, he let his back remain up straight against the pew. When he turned his head to gaze at the cross and let his mind wander at all the possible meanings of it, Sakura finished, "And well, there's more to the entire thing… but basically, we were taken out of paradise free of sadness as punishment for going against God and sinning. We brought pain and death in the world and now here we are."

Gaara craned his head toward her and spoke again, "If God is who He is—then why does He allow evil to exist, then? Would it not be better just to not have it at all?"

Sakura smiled and nodded, though he probably couldn't see it, "Because He has given us freedom of choice. There would be no point to anything if we weren't allowed to choose between right and wrong—between God and Satan. He wants us to _choose_ Him. I—"

His gaze stayed steady.

"It seems at a great cost—but I wouldn't be able to imagine not having my freedom of choice. To me—it would be better dead than be a mindless slave with no choice what-so-ever in anything we think, do, or are. Even if you are a slave here on earth—we still have choices in what we believe. –And that means something to me. I _want_ to have the right to choose. –And if I am wrong or choose to do something wrong, then it's something _I_ pay for."

Gaara remained silent as he studied his hands. "I—was forced into a situation. Last time I was traveling here for Kazekage business with this village."

Sakura froze. He was talking about how he got in the condition he was in last time. She waited in quiet curiosity.

Gaara turned to face forward, closing his eyes. He hated… _talking_. Frowning, he continued, "They had—taken a young girl that was from our village. She was also traveling her way here on a Class D mission. She had been mistaken as a threat. There were several errant three cell teams scanning for a completely different person—I can't remember which one… not the Leaf… but…"

Sakura remained patient and waited for him to continue his story as he organized his thoughts.

"I found her in a very dangerous situation. It wasn't her they were looking for, but she was about the right size and color. Having come upon her first, unfortunately, they assumed much."

Gaara moved his gaze to the ceiling as he studied that now, inch by inch.

"They refused to listen. The situation deteriorated quickly. So we fought. I quickly tried to take down the ones who seemed the most dangerous and greater possible threat to Selena. I miscalculated on who was the most dangerous nin in the group—"

His rough voice hardened, "—And then I lost control." His habit kicked in as he used his hand to clutch his hair. "Again." Gaara's voice went lower as he said, "I immediately killed them all."

Sakura's face fell, already knowing this couldn't be good. She _really_ wanted to see his face right then.

"—And?" She could feel a headache coming on. It was Sakura's turn for her voice to crack, "—The girl?"

_Oh, good God—he didn't—_

Gaara's gaze snapped back at her before being consumed with sadness. "Almost, I was _this_ close…" Gaara swung his legs back down and leaned over in the pew, as if fighting pain in his stomach.

Sakura felt tears of relief. "Almost? You mean you didn't…?"

Gaara nodded as continued to lean over and he haltingly continued, "…I was half way gone and she was standing right there—so small—scared—I could have killed her so easily—so small—I so close to… but I couldn't…I _couldn't_…"

Sakura, tears over flowing, stood up and rushed over to Gaara and put her arms around him. "_Oomph._" Sakura loosened her grip. Maybe she didn't need to _attack_ him… "Gaara—it's okay—you didn't do it. That's what counts."

He shook his head. "I still had wanted to, Sakura. _Just so close_—"

Sakura drew back and in a commanding voice said, "Now. Gaara—stop this—right this instant. You did nothing wrong. Remember, it's a choice—"

Sakura's voice softened, "—And you chose not to. Whether you believe it or not—you are human—you just happen to have a demon inside of you. Not the other way around. Humans are programmed to want to do what they probably shouldn't do—it's nature—but it's choosing against that nature that makes you who you are. I know it's weird, but to me, it seems a comfort to know that when I am good, that I am that way because I _chose_ it—not because someone made me or because it's easy. Nobody is completely good or evil. It's always about choice. It feels good to know I did the right thing because that is what is in my heart and I _chose_ it. And you did the right thing… because you _chose_ it and because you have it in _your_ heart." Sakura's eyes crinkled in a smile.

Gaara remained silent but nodded his understanding.

After a minute of silence, Gaara looked up and glanced at the door. Sakura released him from her death grip and smiled apologetically. He stared at her for a moment, then said, "I think I've kept you long enough, Sakura." The corner of Gaara's mouth pulled up in a smile that didn't seem unpleasant in any way. When he straightened, Sakura followed his lead and they stood up at the same time.

As she began to walk toward the exit, she heard Gaara call from behind, "Again… sometime?"

Sakura turned back, smiling, "Definitely."

With a nod, they both strolled down the isle.

Before Sakura grabbed the nob to leave, she turned back toward him, "You want to walk me home?"

Lightly surprised, Gaara agreed and he walked her home and a pleasant silence and parted with well wishes.

* * *

><p>Just a week later, they met again. Coincidentally, it was at a church service on Christmas day.<p>

For some odd reason, the council had decided to "let" _(send)_ Gaara away for vacation _(probably their vacation away from him)_ for the holiday. Not that he knew many people.

Although he had said his _hellos_ and _goodbyes_ to Naruto as the blonde left on another mission, Gaara decided to stay in the Leaf Village for one other person. It was a late service and Gaara had decided to stay and go to pay respects. And visit a certain someone whom he was sure to be there.

Sure enough, as Gaara walked in at the beginning of service, there was Sakura, at the front row, watching patiently and diligently till the end of the sermon.

He weighed his options again. Go to front row with Sakura—or stay in the back and wait. While waiting in the back would be more comfortable and just more him—Sakura would probably be more delighted if he showed himself and sat with her. Then again, he didn't want to scare off any of the joyful people here.

Gaara scanned the crowd of worry-free citizens.

He moved into the very last pew in the corner, paid attention, and waited.

Just as the service was dismissed and Sakura turned around to leave, she immediately caught sight of a _very_ conspicuous red haired, sleep deprived, young Kazekage all the way in the back.

Smiling, she sat back down and waited for everyone to clear out.

"Are you okay? Waiting for anyone, Miss?"

Sakura blinked as she realized that she had zoned out and everyone had cleared out of the sanctuary by now other than the pastor (and _Mr. Hides-In-Shadows_ guy).

She smiled widely, "No—it's fine. I'm just enjoying a few more minutes in the chapel. Is it okay if I spend a bit more time with my friend? We just want to talk and visit, please?"

The man nodded. Glancing at the red-hair in the back, then back at the pink hair in front of him, he smiled. "No problem. I'll see you next week if you aren't gone on mission, Sakura-san." Sakura nodded distracted as the minister waved by and left the building. _Ah, young love._

In unison, they both stood up and walked down the isle to take their respective places. Only this time, while Sakura sat down in the front pew as always, Gaara also sat in the front pew, next to her.

"Are you doing better than last week?"

Gaara turned to her and replied, "Yes." He paused, "Thank you." He turned back to his distraction of studying his hands. He didn't really want to talk about this, but he needed to talk to _someone_. Gaara glared. Stupid Naruto. He had never _needed_ to talk to anyone _before_.

"I have not been a good person, Sakura. If there is a God—then there must be a devil, yes? Which means there has to be a hell."

Sakura studied him while he continued to study his hands before looking up at her in the eyes. "I know about—" Gaara floundered for words. "I asked some about the cross you hang in front." He took a breath, "I know that it's a tool used for torture." Sakura winced. Just the thought had her thinking of Kakashi and all his injuries from the same device.

"You spoke earlier about punishment for sin. If the Son of God died because of us" _Because of_ _me_, he thought, "I don't think there is any way I am going to heaven, Sakura. Not with—not with what I've _done_."

Sakura touched his shoulder to get his attention. He glanced up to look into her sincere eyes. "What exactly do you 'know,' Gaara? About His death?"

Gaara's eyes narrowed in irritation, "That He died for world's sins—but—"

Sakura's expression brightened and she cut him off, "—_Exactly_. Not just certain people—but the _world's sins_. As long as you believe in Him, that is. I know it's hard to grasp, but—"

Gaara snapped his eyes on her and grabbed her arm. "No—_you don't know what I've done_. You don't _know_, Sakura. No one that _good_ could have paid for _my_ sins." He released her, and slid a few inches away in the pew, his muscles shaking from his intense emotions.

She scooted closer and decided to change tactics. In exhaustion, Sakura started, "Gaara, do you know the entire story of the night that He died on the cross?"

Gaara refused to make eye contact as he continued his stare on the object of the conversation at the moment… the cross. He growled in frustration, "He was a sinless Man, the Son of God, betrayed by a friend, tortured, and died on a crucifix. What else is there?"

Sakura sighed, "What about the other men—the ones that died with Him on that very same day?"

Gaara shrugged. "Unimportant."

"No—see—that was _very_ important. On either sides of Jesus there were _very_ sinful men who were thieves."

Gaara sat straighter, indicating that he _was_ listening.

"They were crucified as well as Jesus, but they had done actions to actually deserve to go on that cross… unlike Jesus who had not committed one sin to deserve _any_thing. Are you with me?"

Gaara nodded, closing his eyes.

Sakura rocked back in the pew, thinking. "I'm a bit fuzzy, but I think the one on the left side of Him, actually mocked Jesus. Asking if He was the Son of God, then why didn't He set them free from their crosses."

Gaara fisted his clothing, remembering why he hated _talking_. Sakura bit her lip. "But the man on the right didn't do any such thing. He _believed_ Jesus was the Christ. Even though he was a sinful man and he never really kept to any of the commandments, nor paid sacrifices for his sins—even though he didn't _deserve_ it—the theif begged Jesus to let Him go to heaven with Him, when they died. And what do you think was Jesus' reply?"

Sakura pressed closer to Gaara, getting him to look at her again.

"He said, _yes_, Gaara. That as soon as they died, that He would see that sinful man in heaven. Jesus didn't die for perfect people, Gaara, he died for _everyone else_."

He shook his red hair, obviously not understanding and tried to draw back away from her, but failed when she refused to let him move.

Sakura looked around before going back to Gaara again.

"Did you know—He knew he was going to die that night, on the cross. He knew for a while what would happen. He _knew_ would be betrayed. He _knew_ he would die on the cross for sins that he had _never_ committed and didn't deserve to die for? He was given a _choice_, Gaara. To die for this race that had persecuted him all his life and even in death. He _knew_ what he was getting into. He knew what type of people he would be dying for—but he did it _any_way."

"_Why_?" Gaara asked bitterly as he clutched his head and squeezed his eyes shut.

Sakura smiled, "I guess that's the question of the ages… maybe because he had hope? Because he maybe believed that there was still some good worth saving? Or maybe the biggest reason is because he just loves us. Probably all of those reasons and more. Gaara—"

Sakura, abruptly, stood up, which automatically made Gaara stand up as well. She bit her lip as she started, "Is it okay if I—if I—"

Gaara stood there confused and blank.

Sakura rolled her eyes and sighed as she brought her arms around him and hugged him. He tensed, but didn't push her away and eventually relaxed enough to gather her in a responding hug—more like a bear hug from a hug-deprived male.

Quietly, but loud enough for him to hear, Sakura said, "God loves all his kids equally, Gaara. No better—no worse—no matter _what_ you've done in the past. Even if you feel all alone in the world, with no one on the _planet_—you still have Him. You're never really alone—as cheesy as that sounds!" Sakura finished laughing.

Finally, they pulled apart with a beaming Sakura, and a lighter looking Gaara. If Gaara had ever smiled in his life, this was probably about as close as it got.

"Not that you'll ever lose us while we are still around! Naruto and me'd rather die than leave you like that, Gaara. We know you've still got good inside you." Sakura smiled at him, "Just because I try to be good doesn't make me any 'better' than you. I still need God's forgiveness just as much as you do."

His mouth pulled into a slightly wider smile and he nodded his affirmation. Gaara looked up to see it pitch black through the windows. He frowned, "It is time to go."

Sakura looked up at him and grin.

"Yes, I suppose we should. Walk me home?"

Gaara turned toward her and nodded, pulling her sleeve in a small show of friendship. She grinned and took the liberty of hooking her arm around Gaara's and practically bounced out of the sanctuary this time.

When her apartment came in sight, Sakura finally got a hold of her emotions enough to slow down. When it was time for them to part, they both stood awkwardly in front of each other.

"Well_—er—_Ah, ahem." Sakura felt awkward and blushed a deep red. Time for courage! _Ino-pig_ would have tried _way_ before this anyway "Forget it, just don't kill me please." Gaara rose a brow at her strange words when she suddenly Sakura leaned on her tiptoes and quickly kissed him on the lips and felt the blush heat down to her toes as she ran inside.

_Blink._

Did that just happen?

Gaara turned his blank gaze on the girl's door, with a light flush on his face too. He uncertainly turned toward his own "home" and started his toward his temporary quarters.

_Maybe there is hope for me yet._

All he could do was have faith.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's Note:<strong>_

_I am actually rewriting this oneshot series. _Tell me if you like it any better than before or if it's worse._ I'm keeping the other (same) story up only because if this version is worse (and I doubt that can be possible b/c the other one is ATROCIOUS), I still want people to read the one they like most. Let me know, because I may eventually delete the old one anyway. I'm trying to improve and all that… lol, this editing business is a lot more work than I first thought it would be. A lot of mistakes to fix._

_I had just a sort of yearning to do some fanfiction involving faith and religion. It's a bit hard though—considering the subject, of course. Not to mention people tend to get turned off by the whole bit. Actually, I find that people are pretty hostel to the whole idea. A guy can be the worst person in the world and still be seen as an idol nowadays, but if a guy is good and says he's Christian then HE'S considered to be fake and worse than the "bad boy." How… irritating. I am definitely NOT saying Christians are perfect or that all are as they claim to be, but _come on_. Isn't the purpose of believing that Jesus died for your sins is admitting you're a sinner THERFORE you are imperfect? People call us hypocritical for judging other people when they do the same to us. Anyway… sigh._

_But I really did want to write something that touched/talked about God. I mean, it's my very reason for existing and effects every decision I'll ever make. Of course I would want to write a story that shares something I'm so passionate about. Anyway, if you want to learn about any religious references I've mentioned, then just go to the Bible! It will definitely be more accurate than me, lol. :) _

Questions about me? Yes, I am Christian (protestant, nondenominational). I have nothing against anyone else's religion. It just isn't mine. And anything I've mentioned IS referenced somewhere in the Bible, so hopefully I have no disagreements.

If you don't like such religion or references, I do not want flames. I do not take kindly to flames and I am definitely human. You have a right to not believe, just as I have the right TO believe. If I have miscalculated any references, just point it out and I shall look it up in the Bible to check—but I'm confidant it should all check out just fine. Thank you.

_If you would like to talk anymore about the Bible (such as help about it), I'm always here. —As well as any local churches with pastors, preachers, or priests that you feel you can trust. I'm not trying to pressure you to "win you over for my religion" like those door-to-door salesman. My God has changed my life so radically (and for the absolute better) that I can't help but share and hope that you could have the same experience. Simply, I was saved and would like nothing better than for you to be saved too._

_**Disclaimer**: I do not own the characters in the show that this is based off of. Any religious references here should be found in the Bible! Please don't sue—I give credit to all those deserving in this oneshot—including God! Go God! ^.^_

_Thank you so much for reading. Please review._

_Hawaiian Caffeine_

_(aka: alana124pyro)_


End file.
